Jokes and Pick Up Lines

It has been a busy term for many of us as we adapt to new environments and learn new concepts. Let us relax and take a step back to enjoy the following jokes.

Joke 1:

I dreamt I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

 

Joke 2:

  1. Why do the French like to eat snails so much?
  2. They can’t stand fast food.

 

Joke 3:

A boy breaks on old vase at a rich uncle‘s house. The uncle gets extremely angry and yells: “Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century!” The boy sagged in relief: “Oh, good that it wasn’t new.”

 

Joke 4:

A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his company for embezzlement of many millions. At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him: “Don’t worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money”.

And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, he didn’t have a penny anymore.

 

Joke 5:

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.

“It’s taped under the modem,” 
I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”

 

Pick Up Line 1:

“Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.”

 

Pick Up Line 2:

Is your father a thief? ‘Cause he stole the sparkle from the stars and put it in your eyes.

 

Pick Up Line 3:

I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.

 

Pick Up Line 4:

Are you a 90 degree angle? ‘Cause you’re looking right!

 

Pick Up Line 5:

How is it that I know so many digits of Pi, yet I know 0 digits of your phone number?

 

Remember to relax when needed and enjoy the rest of the year!

 

Yeo Hui Min Mandy

2 Unity

Sources: https://www.pickupliness.com/clever-pick-up-lines/

http://www.rd.com/jokes/old-age/

http://www.short-funny.com/

 

 

 

 

 

A Cruel Twist of Fate

d

It smelt like stale air-conditioning and underground metals, just like how trains always do. Today, I smelt like antiseptic and bad news.

 

The ring tone of my phone screamed in my ears. The screen showed: Ah Boy. Clenched eyes resigned, I picked up the phone.

 

“Hey mother… I…have something… to tell you…! I…was given a scholarship…to CAMBRIDGE!!! My dreams…had finally came through. I am…ecstatic!” my son exclaimed in jubilation, tears choking him.

 

A small smile played on my lips. I knew how much Ah Boy wanted to go to Cambridge. As a mother, I was really proud of him. I thought of the radiant smile on his face. As I was deep in my thoughts, a thought jerked me back to reality. How long could I share this happiness with my son if my life was as barren as dirty yards?

 

Looking at the medical report clenched tightly in my fist, all the smoldering emotions swelled in me burst – my third stage of cancer, the costly medicals fees and the hopeless life ahead. All these feelings combined in one great impulse towards destruction. The purpose of my life had faded. What was I going to do? What about the hefty medical fees? When was I going to die? What will happen to Ah Boy? And the question that was inevitable: Should I tell my husband and Ah Boy?

 

I recalled the times when my husband and I used to date. All these memories. All the time spent. All the efforts. I also recalled the very first time I embraced Ah Boy in my arms. I had held onto his hands, seeing those minuscule hands grow into brawny ones. These were symbols of love. However, love had no chance with death.

 

If I were to tell my husband about this, I knew he would be despondent. He would definitely, and obviously tell Ah Boy. And that Ah Boy would give up his scholarship and take care of me. What must I do?

 

Frazzled, I let the tears in my eyes roll down my cheeks, unto the medical report.

Lynn Tan (1F)

Music Favourites: Know-It-All by Alessia Cara

Judging from the title, you might think this album might have to do with being a ‘know-it-all’ or doing well in class. In fact, it is the complete opposite. If you listen to the lyrics closely, it could also be a lot deeper than you think.

‘Know-It-All’ is an album made by Canadian singer-songwriter, Alessia Cara. She first rose to fame in 2013 when she started posting covers of songs to the popular American video sharing website, YouTube. Eventually, a few years later, she was noticed by someone from Republic Records and signed with them.

 

‘Know-It-All’ has been immensely successful, having sold over 500,00 copies. Its first single, Here, was released on April 30, 2015 and was in the top 5 of the Billboard top 100. The album especially reaches out to teenagers, some songs talking about celebrating youth and treasuring your years as a teenager. Its pop and R&B style also has some soulfulness and also some kick to it and it definitely tells me that different generations can enjoy it together. The first song, Seventeen, tells people to hold onto your youth as it will fly by very fast.

 

Most of the songs on that album are amazing. My favourite one has to be ‘Scars To Your Beautiful’. When you first listen to it, it has a catchy beat to it. As you listen to it closely, what you hear is so meaningful. It talks about inner beauty and how we should never be affected by how people see you, but how you see yourself.

In an interview, Alessia Cara also stated:

It’s just a song about these things that certain women go through on a daily basis in order to feel loved or in order to love themselves. I think that’s such a thing that goes on in today’s world. These weird things are instilled in us. You know? That tell us that we’re not good enough or that there’s only one kind of beauty.”-Interview with Idolator’s Mike Wass

My favourite lyric is: “There’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark, you should know you’re beautiful just the way you are”. It really touches people’s hearts and shows them that it doesn’t matter what’s on the outside and it doesn’t matter what people see. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

I do recommend that people listen to this album, especially ‘Scars To Your Beautiful’. You could really feel inspired by this song and by listening, it could affect so many people.

 

Link to ‘Scars To Your Beautiful’ music video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWASeaYuHZo

Sources:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scars_to_Your_Beautiful

http://www.spin.com/2015/06/alessia-cara-all-eyes-on/

Rachel Lie (1P)

Music Favourites

Cause I’m hopeful, yes I am

Hopeful for todayhpe.png

Take this music and use it

Let it take you away

And be hopeful, hopeful

And He’ll make a way

I know it ain’t easy but that’s okay

Just be hopeful

These lyrics may sound familiar to you as they are from the song Hopeful. Bars and Melody first performed the song when they auditioned for the eighth series of Britain’s Got Talent in February 2014. They received judge Simon Cowell’s golden buzzer and went straight through to the live shows.On 7 June, the duo finished in third place during the live final. On 15 June, it was announced that Bars and Melody had signed to Cowell’s record label Synco Music. It was later revealed that they would release their version of “Hope” (retitled “Hopeful”) as their debut single on 27 July.

13-year-old Leondre has told how the lyrics were inspired by a difficult past, which saw him tormented by bullies for two years.“I used to get jumped on by a group of boys who would wait for me, then trip me up and punch and kick me,” he told The Sun.Leondre says he explained his bruises away as being from football, but eventually had to speak out when it got too much to take.“In the end I had to tell someone because I got really depressed. When I told my dad I just broke down in tears and cried and cried.” The lyrics to this song are filled with sadness when we hear how he was bullied, the lyrics also told us how depressed, and hopeless he felt, also asking the bully what he did to get this treatment. So if you are feeling down, I highly suggest you listen this to liften up your spirits. Just be hopeful and don’t give up!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hopeful_(Bars_and_Melody_song)

http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/britains-talent-bars-melody-rapper-3525610

Ashley Tung

2P

 

 

Les Misérables

Germaine

“Do you hear the people sing

Lost in the valley of the night?

It is the music of a people

Who are climbing to the light.

For the wretched of the earth

There is a flame that never dies.

Even the darkest night will end

And the sun will rise.”

Written by Victor Hugo, Les Misérables (literally meaning “the miserable ones” in French and pronounced as “Lay Mee-say-harbl”) is a French historical novel that is known as one of the greatest novels in the 19th century. Beginning in 1815 and culminating in the 1832 June Rebellion in Paris, the novel examines the nature of law and grace, elaborating upon the history of France and its politics, moral philosophy, justice, religion, and the types and nature of romantic and familial love.

The novel, which consists of five volumes, each divided into several books, and further subdivided into chapters, follows the lives and interactions of several characters, particularly the struggles of ex-convict Jean Valjean, who becomes a force for good in the world through his experience of redemption, but cannot escape his criminal past.

In Les Misérables, readers will be taken deep into the Parisian underworld, and carried onto the barricades during the uprising of 1832, where they will be immersed in a battle between good and evil. Within this dramatic story by Victor Hugo are themes that capture the intellect and the emotions: crime and punishment, the relentless persecution of repeat offender Valjean by local policeman Inspector Javert, the desperation of a prostitute named Fantine, the amorality of the rogue Thénardier, as well as the universal desire to escape the prisons of our own minds. Another theme is that of love, especially about the love triangle caught between Cosette, Éponine, and Marius. This book is a must-read for people craving some historical action and excitement, so if you are one of them, do remember to look out for the translated version of Les Misérables during your next trip to the library!

Source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Mis%C3%A9rables

Germaine Lee (3T)

Lost stars, trying to light up the dark?

RACHEL PANG WEN HUI

Lost stars, the song that got everyone hitting the repeat button, is a new original song that was performed by famous band, Maroon 5 for the movie Begin Again. The song proved to be a great hit, which flaunted lead singer, Adam Levine’s powerhouse vocals and the stirring accompaniment, wavering hearts of many, with its heart wrenching lyrics and Levine’s soulful vocals. Although, it may seem overrated, I personally feel that the song brings about a deep meaning, as it talks about how many struggle to stay alive in this day and age, where the need to fit into the system is very pressurizing. However, the soft touches to some lyrics, such as ‘yesterday, I saw a lion kiss a deer’, can also convey the message that, we can still find hope in society, as it is rare for a predator to not think of its prey as food, but as its friend, showcasing the innocence that is still possible in society.

As a huge fan of Adam Levine, I admire him for how he incorporates so many emotions into his songs and I would definitely say that he has indeed done it again. The incredible song is not only an appealing and beautiful masterpiece, it is also one that showcases how our current society works as a whole and how people are sadly unable to embrace it. In response, we should find ways to reach out to these lost stars, who need help to become part of our galaxy and make a change to help them light up the dark.

Lost Stars (Adam Levine) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL4uhaQ58Rk

Rachel Pang (4H)

Zika Mosquitoes’ Habitats May Foil US Elimination Efforts

 

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All of us would have definitely heard about the Zika virus, a fast-spreading virus which is the mastermind of many cases of microcephaly severe birth defects and unusual permanent head damages, mostly happening in Latin America and the Caribbean.

Unfortunately, the virus is going to spread faster than many of us might imagine. It has been predicted by health experts that as the country gets progressively hotter over the months, it would make it easier for the Zika virus to spread to the United States. Many officials and experts are working hard to eradicate the virus through means such as fogging, however, since the Aedes aegypti mosquito is able to hide in our daily appliances such as our beds and closets, fogging might not be effective in preventing the spread of the mosquitos and pesticides would have to be sprayed at the hiding places of the mosquitos.

The Zika virus outbreak has already affected over 25 countries and territories. Thus, travellers who have travelled to affected countries and been stung by the mosquitos, would actually carry the virus back and there might be the possibility of transmission. There has been one reported case of transmission within the United States, but as many more travellers return to the country, the numbers would soar much higher than what it is now, at around 30. The virus could even affect up to 4 million people in the United States of America, mostly in coastal areas such as Texas

Although the situation seems grim, the United States is still going to try to prevent the outbreak from knocking at their doorstep. The mosquitos carrying the virus feed in the day and mostly breed in impoverished areas such as garbage-filled dumps, water filled areas. Therefore, even though it may not be possible to totally remove these mosquitos from the world, officials and health experts are still trying to limit it to keep infection small when it does happen. Some other measures which they have come up with would be removing of potential breeding habitats, but without the help of everyone in the community, it would be less possible for it to be effective in the eradication of the mosquitos which also carry other diseases such as dengue and chikungunya. Better options for solutions would have to be further identified, with the adapting mosquitos.

Hence, never let your guard down, even if it is a small mosquito bite!

Renee Ong (2J)

A Nightmare

 

Ming Ting

I ran and ran. Cold sweat ran down my face, soaking my shirt. Whatever that thing was, one thing for sure. It was coming for me. My feet pounded against the stone gravels and the cold wind slapped my face as I ran. I was panting very hard but I knew I had to pick up my pace before it catches up to me. I could feel its hot breath against my back.

My energy was slowly draining and the road in front of me seems endless. My will to keep going had slowly become weaker. Every fibre in my body was screaming at me to stop but my mind told me to persevere on. I finally picked up pace and sprinted ahead. I started to see stars and I could feel my legs starting to give way.

I turned around and saw it charging straight at me, never once losing its pace. Its determination to get me was stronger than I thought. Should I give out now? It seemed that clearly from the start it was always a neck to neck race between me and it. I could never have stood a chance at outrunning it, seeing how strong it was.

I could hear someone calling my name faintly. Suddenly, my legs became weak and buckled underneath me. I went sprawling onto the ground, landing right in the way of it. It took a few steps towards me and stared down at me with those menacing eyes. I could see it now. He was not an it. He was Dracula. A supernatural with a heart as black as coal. He leaned towards me with that malicious smile of his. Oh no. Here comes…

“Rebecca! Rebecca! Wake up! “I felt someone gently shaking me. My mind cleared as I slowly opened my eyes. “You were screaming while you were sleeping. Having one of those nightmares again, darling? I told you not to watch horror movies before you sleep, didn’t I?” My mum comforted me while hugging me close in an embrace. I could still picture the scenes just now and that smile of his gave me goose bumps. From afar, his laughter still rang loud and clear. My heart keeps telling me it was all just a nightmare.

Oh, so it was all just a nightmare.

Or, was it?

Tan Ming Ting (2L)

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

JL

How does a Magizoologist work on the go? He takes his work with him, of course! Newt Scamander’s suitcase is enchanted so that it’s bigger on the inside than it appears on the outside. To avoid embarrassment at US Customs, Newt can flip a switch on his case to hide its contents from No-Maj eyes.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, or simply Fantastic Beasts, is an upcoming British-American fantasy drama film inspired by the book of the same name by J. K. Rowling. It is the first installment of a trilogy and is a prequel of the Harry Potter film series and directed by David Yates. The film was written by Rowling as her screenwriting debut and is scheduled to be released on 18 November 2016.

The story revolves around Newt Scamander’s (Eddie Redmayne) arrival at the Magical Congress of the United States of America (MACUSA), for a meeting with an important official. Central to the story and this meeting is a magically expanded briefcase which houses a number of dangerous magical creatures and their habitats. When the creatures escape from the briefcase, it sends the American wizarding authorities after Newt, and it threatens even further the state of magical and non-magical relations, which is already in a dangerous place, due to the threatening presence of the fanatical New Salem Philanthropic Society, an extremist organization dedicated to the eradication of wizardkind. The story tells of what effect this devastating mistake has on the state of wizard/No-Maj (the American term for a non-magical person) relations in New York City’s community of wizards and witches in 1926, the effort to correct the mistake, and the horrors of the resultant increase in violence, fear, and tension felt between magical and non-magical people.

 

I am already looking forward to this movie although it will not be released until November, as it will be directed by the director of the last six Harry Potter movies. It has been five years since the last Harry Potter movie was released, and this prequel will definitely provide a fresh look and more information on J. K. Rowling’s diverse Wizarding World. The movie is set in 1926, which will be something new, as the Harry Potter series was set more recently, in the 1990s. This movie will be a must-watch for Harry Potter fans worldwide, and the trailer was released recently, so I highly recommend you check it out!

 

Trailer:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWXUQq7OsKQ

More Information: https://www.pottermore.com/explore-the-story/fantastic-beasts

 

Jocelyn Lim (3J)

Violence in the Media

‘It is a bad outlook for the world if violence takes hold of the mass mind. Ultimately, it destroys the race’. ~Gandhi
In May 2010, 20-year-old gamer Julien Barreaux stabbed his rival player who had killed Barreaux’s character in the game Counter-Strike. The judge at his trial called him “a menace to society.”
It may seem unbelievable that a video game would have such an impact on people, but there are many more similarly disturbing and shocking situations which have occurred.
In today’s society, violence has become integrated into the media. Psychologist Craig A. Anderson’s research showed that playing violent video games can increase a person’s aggressive thoughts, feelings and behaviour both in laboratory settings and in daily life. To make matters worse, 97% of adolescents age 12-17 play video games — on a computer, on consoles such as the Wii, PlayStation and Xbox, or on portable devices such as smartphones and tablets. Thus, the violence that is incorporated in video games affects countless youths who play such games.
Violence is also evident in television shows and movies. The United States National Institute of Mental Health identified these major effects of seeing violence on television:
• Children may become less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others.
• Children may be more fearful of the world around them.
• Children may be more likely to behave in aggressive or harmful ways toward others.
It is evident that being exposed to violence in media can have a detrimental effect, especially on children who are young and impressionable. Such violence not only encourages even more violence but also desensitizes youths to displays of violence in the real world. Therefore, I am very much against exposing youths to violence in the media.
But what can be done in response to the issue? Rating systems for video games and movies should be implemented in as many countries as possible. The United States and Canada currently have the ESRB (Entertainment Software Rating Board) system which has ratings such as M (Mature 17+) or AO (Adults Only 18+). This rating system assigns the age and content ratings for specific video games. In Singapore, there is also the BFC (Board of Film Censors) which have introduced classification ratings for films. The rating system includes ratings such as G (General) and PG (Parental Guidance). I feel that such rating systems should be implemented in more countries, so that youths can avoid being exposed to content that is not appropriate for their age group.
In conclusion, with increased violence in our society, youths, who are impressionable, may learn from the content that they are being exposed to. Therefore, I strongly support the suggestion of imposing stricter ratings on video games and films.

violence in media 1 violence in media 2
-Soh Wen Shuen(2W)