Jokes and Puns

ZT jokes and punsJokes and Puns:

Here are some jokes and puns that are bound to help you relax and let loose after this tense week.

Puns:

  1. I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
  2. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
  3. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
  4. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

 

Jokes:

 

  1. When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbours can see that there’s no domestic violence going on.

 

  1. Two Police officers crashed their car into a tree. After a minute of silence, one of them said: “Wow, that was the fastest we ever got to the accident site.

 

  1. Question: What’s bears without ears?

Answer: B

  1. 8 p.m.: I get an SMS from my girlfriend: Me or football?!

11 p.m.: I SMS my girlfriend: You of course.

  1. A fat guy and a thin guy meet:

Fat guy: “When I see you, I’d think a famine broke out!”

Thin guy: “And when I see you, I’d think you’re the one responsible for that!”

  1. Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife, “He’s been crying the whole way home. Isn’t he sick or something?”

“No,” replies the wife, “he was just trying to tell you he isn’t our Frankie.”

References:

Chow Zi Tian

3 Wisdom

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