15 of the Funniest Jokes Ever
- Two fishes are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”
- I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
- Want to hear a construction joke? I’m still working on it.
- Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
- I named my dog ‘5 miles’ so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.
- Never iron a four leaf clover. You don’t want to press your luck.
- Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one’ so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this’.
- Make crime pay, become a lawyer.
- A blind man was calling an end to his relationship with his girlfriend. “I’m sorry, I can’t see you anymore.”
- I slept through the alarm this morning. Good thing it was only a small fire.
- “Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!” “Sit down and I’ll deal with you later.”
- Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
- What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert? No thanks, I’m stuffed.
- Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work overtime.
- Police arrested 2 kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Chloe Kho (2P)