Suffering the first week of term blues? Do not fret, for these jokes and pick- up lines are sure to make you laugh out loud! Though laughing without a reason can end up with a pleasant trip to the mental hospital…
Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will let it go!
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoilt milk!
Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: Because he was not peeling well!
Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A: A waist of time!
Q: How many books can you put in an empty backpack?
A: One, because after that the backpack wouldn’t be empty anymore!
Q: What do you call a pig who does karate?
A: A porkchop!
Q: How do you know that ghosts are bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them!
Q: What animal needs to wear a wig?
A: A bald eagle!
Q: What do you call a fly without wings?
A: A walk!
Q: What did the leopard say after eating his owner?
A: Man, that hit the spot!
Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because they use honeycombs!
Q: What happened to that dog who swallowed a firefly?
A: He barked with de-light!
Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat anything that bugs them!
Q: What do you call security guards that work outside a samsung shop?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy!
Today I gave my dead batteries away… free of charge.
“I am going bananas” that is what I tell my bananas each time before leaving the house.
A butcher goes on his first date and says,” It was nice meating you.”
I heard a story of a broken pencil that I’d tell you but it is pointless.
I am going to stand outside. So if anybody asks, I am outstanding.
I hope that these jokes have brightened up your day!