The cold wind blows once again. I pull my sweater tightly together, hands hugging myself. A million thoughts are running wild through my mind. They just can’t stop flashing – nonstop. The same thoughts: thoughts about family, thoughts about friends, thoughts about my future, thoughts about … everything.
Graduation is in two weeks. It means dressing up for prom and starting a new life. But a new life abroad means goodbyes to my closest friends, my neighbours, leaving my bed that has slept me since I was born. Most importantly, it means leaving this place I call home.
Yes, it was my own decision to accept the scholarship offered to me at the new college but why am I regretting it now? How would I be after a few years abroad? Will I get too used to the new environment and not come home? Will I be a changed person with new ideas and dreams of my future? Will I forget everything and everyone here? Or … will I be forgotten?
My heart clenches at that thought and eyes brim with tears. Before long the tears stream down my face. Fresh tears fill my tired eyes once more. I can’t imagine coming home after a few years with no one remembering me – my friends having their new-found friends and having a vague memory of that girl who left them just for college when the rest just stayed back home in our town.
Graduation is in a week. It means everyone at school are either busy shopping for the prom or chilling out at nearby cafes to make the best out of the remaining time they have left with their friends before graduation. But here I am, stuck in my bedroom, packing my suitcase with all the supplies that I need when I am over at the new college with my mother’s constant nagging to hang out with my friends before I leave. How am I supposed to be truly happy hanging out with my friends when my mind is drowning in nothing but negative thoughts about the future and my heart is only filled with worry, anxiety, sadness and unwillingness.
I lie down on the bed, the notebook in my hands dangling at the side of the bed. I stare aimlessly at the ceiling, slowly looking around my room and trying my best to memorise every feature before staring back up at the ceiling once more, sorting out my thoughts and feelings in the deafening silence of the room.
The silence is broken with a knock on the door. “What is it again, mum? I told you I didn’t want to go out!” I exclaim in annoyance, eyes brimming with new-found tears at the negative thoughts that I thought was dispelled just minutes ago.
There is silence before the door opens. I turn my attention to the door, ready to scream and force my mum out of the room but shock greets me at the sight before my eyes. My best friend is leaning against the wooden door with confusion plastered over her face. I immediately lunge forward and pull her into a hug – the negative thoughts and feelings disappear at that instant and I feel the warmth emanating from the hug. Tears of happiness and relief roll down my cheeks as she murmurs softly, “Who said anything about forgetting you? Did I get amnesia?”
Maybe, having a new life isn’t that bad after all.