Jokes and Pick-up Lines

They say that laughter is the best medicine, but if you’re laughing without any reason you need medicine. Here is a list of jokes to perk you up as the school term draws to a close…

1. A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It’s a shitzu.

2. A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says “uno,

dos…” …*Poof* he disappeared without a tres.

3. What do corals get stressed about? Current events.

4. Did you guys hear the joke about the high wall? It was hilarious, I’m still trying to get over it.

5. Which American president was least guilty? Lincoln because he was in-a-cent.

6. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

7. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vest-igator.

8. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality.

9. I put my root beer in a square cup now it’s just beer.

10. What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

11. How do you organise a space party? You planet.

12. Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the ‘P’ is silent.

13. If you leave alphabet soup on the stove unattended, it could spell disaster.

14. Is there a hole in your shoe?


Then how did you get your feet into it?

15. Knock knock

Who’s there?


Nana who?

Nana your business?

16. Knock knock

Who’s there?


Mikey who?

Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole

17. Knock knock

Who’s there?

Britney Spears

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Oops I did it again

Trina Chong (4U)


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