Jokes and Pickup Lines


Punny puns:

My puns aren’t just bad… they’re tearable.


A good steak pun is a rare medium well done.


Never trust atoms, they make up everything.


If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?


Like Titanic, my heart Sengkang-der the sea.


If you really really really like happy meals, you are most likely a MacPherson.


You are so b-Yew Tee-ful!


If you diet, you Woodleigh much less.



After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”

“But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.

“I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”


We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon Anon.

Why aren’t dogs good dancers?

They have two left feet!


Here are some pictorial puns:





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