Jokes and Pickup Lines

It has been four weeks since the June holidays! You might be feeling exhausted already but keep going! Here are some jokes to brighten up your day and hopefully it would make you feel better!

  1. Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a helium balloon?

A: Because she will Let it go.

Not funny enough? Do not worry, that was just the beginning, see below for more!

  1. Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: It was framed.

  1. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?

A: A bulldozer!

  1. Q: What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need

oink-ment.

  1. Q: Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

A: They do not meet the koalafications.

  1. Q: What do you call bears with no ears?

A: B

  1. Child: *With report card in hand*

Mother: So what is your final grade?

Child: Underwater

Mother: What does that mean?

Child: Below C LEVEL

  1. When are the steps rude?

When they stair at you!

  1. Two people arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then took sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, an angry member of the public in the pub approached them and said, ‘Excuse me, you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!’ The two people looked at each other, shrugged and exchanged sandwiches.
  1. A man had two goldfish, he named one of them “One” and the other “Two”.

He did this because if one died, he would still have two!

  1. Technical Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”

Customer: “Ok.”

Technical Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Technical Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu now?”

Customer: “No.”

Technical Support: “Ok, sir, can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”

Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’, therefore, I wrote ‘click’.”

Sources:

http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/cleanjokes.html

http://thoughtcatalog.com/brandon-gorrell/2015/03/50-short-clean-jokes-and-puns-that-will-get-a-laugh-every-time/

http://shortestjokes.blogspot.sg/2013/05/nice-decent-clean-jokes.html

Renee Ong (1L)

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