Literary Jokes :)

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar…

“It was tense.”

How did Charlotte Bronte make it easier for everyone to breather?

“She created Eyre.”

Master Yoda, are we going in the right direction?

Off course you are.

Voldermort: Knock knock

You: Who’s there?

Voldermort: You know.

You: You know who?

Voldermort: Exactly.

THE PERFECT MAN:

definition: An unknown creature available only in books and movies.

Claire Hsieh (3P)

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To Kill A Mockingbird.

TKAM

To Kill A Mockingbird. To many of us, this is but a typical literature novel we see nestled in someone’s hands or chucked in between other exciting books in the bookstore. But it may come across as a surprise to know that this novel is not commonplace literature text. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I consider it one of the greatest books I have ever read.

The book is set in Alabama, with the protagonist, Jean Louise Finch, more comfortably addressed as Scout and her brother Jem spending precious minutes of their childhood making up games and building new friendships. The first few chapters also emphasize the two children’s intimacy with their father, Atticus Finch. As a lawyer, Atticus had always insisted on inculcating the right moral values to the adolescents. From a young age and even throughout their maturing years, Jem and Scout never fail to turn to their father as a moral compass, and their father was greatly praised by them and the neighbourhood.

The whole book circles around real world context issues like racism and moral courage. Nestled in every word is an underlying meaning, an important lesson we can learn if only we know how to read between the lines. Even the outcast, Boo Radley, was used to portray how undeniable the consequences of racism are. When Boo finally proves himself to be harmless, it also assists in bring closure to the book, and tying up the loose ends of the plot. Boo’s gentle and harmless demeanour is related to the point of how people of another skin colour are innocent. They are living their lives as they should be, and they too, are human.

One inspiring line from the book, quoted “I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.” is adapted from a scene which portrays Atticus’ attempt to teach the children to persevere, and that things might not always go their way, but having the courage to see through it is all that really matters. It shows that racism is a pressing issue that might not seem to go away and would definitely not disappear overnight, but as long as one hangs tough, the issue will resolve little by little.

If you are not a fan of reading, To Kill A Mockingbird is available as a movie, although i maintain on my stand that the book is more alluring. Let the words take you away on an adventure like no other.

If you have read the book and you are still itching for more, it might interest you to know that Harper Lee, the author has written a sequel, Go Set A Watchman. In that book, some of Atticus’ views have changed and that might be another thought-provoking journey for you to set out on.

Nicolette Kum (2U)

Rush Hour

It’s that time of the day, when everyone is going home. Peak hour, as most call it. Unfortunately, you have to squeeze into the jam-packed MRT carriage as well. You let out a sigh, and patiently wait for an unbelievable number of people to alight before you board. You don’t even bother looking for a seat, as you already know it would be impossible to find one at this time. Immediately you head towards an available handrail. Alas, you couldn’t get there in time. It has already been claimed by a middle-aged man. Instead, you grab on to the next open one, which just has to be on the opposite end of the train carriage. Just before you get there, the train lunges forward. You fall flat on your face, much to the amusement of other commuters. With a slightly bruised knee, and an even sorer pride, you climb up with your face flushed. Mortified, you hurriedly grabbed a handrail and hang on to it for dear life. After what seemed like forever, the monotonous robotic voice announces your station. You have never been more relieved in your life. Almost running off the carriage, you let out an enormous sigh. Finally.

Jocelyn Lim
2T

Robert Downey Jr.

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Robert Downey Jr. is one of Hollywood’s critically acclaimed A-list celebrities, an American actor well known for his roles as “egotistical but likable scoundrels”, as well as “intelligent but eccentric characters” in a wide variety of films.

As a child, RDJ, as he is commonly known as by his fellow actors and actresses in the acting industry, was “surrounded by drugs”. His father, a drug addict himself, allowed him to use marijuana at age eight, an incident which his father has said he now regrets. Robert stated that drug use became an emotional bond between him and his father: “When my dad and I would do drugs together, it was like him trying to express his love for me in the only way he knew how.” Eventually, he began spending every night abusing alcohol and “making a thousand phone calls in pursuit of drugs”, and he would go on to struggle with abuse for decades.

Despite having been in showbiz for about 45 years, RDJ is still able to add a long list of awards and nominations to his name up to this decade. Such include the MTV Movie Awards, the Golden Globe Awards, the Saturn Awards, Teen Choice Awards, People’s Choice Awards and many more.

I admire RDJ because he is a very talented and engaging actor-he is able to play roles in movies that appeal to both the younger generation and the older generation, such as Iron Man (2008) and Sherlock Holmes (2009), Chaplin (1992) and Due Date (2010). No matter the role, he is always able to the bring more life to the movie he acts in by adding more humour and sometimes that bit of sarcastic touch to his character.

I also respect him in certain ways.  RDJ’s problems escalated from 1996 to 2001, leading to arrests, rehab visits and incarcerations, and he was even fired from a few television and movie roles that he had been selected to play then. However, in 2001, he was finally able to quit his addiction with drugs after so many years of drug abuse, and was also able to start his career all over again with the help of his close friend and family. It wouldn’t have been easy to quit drug addiction, but he did so eventually and has never returned to his addiction since, hence I respect him due to him being able to get back to his feet and move on with his life.

Another reason why I respect him is because I think that he’s very self-righteous and stands up to what he thinks is right. He literally walked out on a reporter who was prying into his past problems with drugs, when the main purpose of the interview was to promote the movie Avengers: Age of Ultron, whereby he starred as Iron Man. He was upset and didn’t think he should have to endure such probing questions when he’s promoting a movie, and going forward, he says he’ll probably extricate himself from a similar situation before it leads to a physical altercation. I thought that he was able to keep his cool rather well, considering how the topic was about his past,

Do watch some of Robert Downey Jr. ‘s newer movies if you want to watch something witty after a long day in school. They really are worth watching!

Germaine Lee (2T)

Ant-Man

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“Heroes don’t get any bigger”

Based on the comics created by Stan Lee, Larry Lieber and Jack Kirby of the same name, Ant-Man tells of how Scott Lang, as the new Ant-Man, helps his mentor and predecessor to the Ant-Man identity, Dr. Hank Pym, pull of a heist that will save the world.

Forced out of his own company by former protégé Darren Cross, Dr. Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) recruits the talents of well-meaning burglar Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), a master thief just released from prison. Lang becomes Ant-Man, trained by Pym and his daughter Hope Van Dyne (Evangeline Lily), and is armed with a suit that allows him to shrink in size, possess superhuman strength, as well as the ability to control an army of ants. The miniature hero must use his new skills to prevent Darren Cross (Corey Stoll), also known as Yellowjacket, from perfecting the same technology and using it as a weapon for evil.

I feel that Ant-Man is a movie worth watching because it is really entertaining and has a generally good storyline. There are many funny lines and conversations like “Baskin Robbins always finds out” and “Scott Lang: My days of breaking into places and stealing shit are over! What do you need me to do? Hank Pym: …I want you to break into a place and steal some shit. Scott Lang: …makes sense.”Paul Rudd, who stars as Scott Lang/Ant-Man, contributes largely to this movie’s success as he gave a very charming performance – he is able to convey all the humour in the script, which makes the movie very enjoyable. Also, there are many instances of language arts such as irony, when Yellowjacket said that he was going to disintegrate Ant-Man, and Siri started to playing the song “Disintegration” by The Cure, and contradictory sentences such as “‘Wait I didn’t steal anything! I was returning something I stole!”’ that adds to all the laughter in the movie.

Spoiler alert – each movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) has one end or post credits scene, but this movie stands out as it has one end credit scene and one post credits scene. Furthermore, the post credit scene in Ant-Man is said to be a scene from the upcoming installment in the MCU, Captain America Civil War. Again, this has never be done before – all the ending scenes in the other movies all foreshadow the future Marvel films, rather than clip it from the upcoming movies.

An interesting twist in the plot is that another hero appears in the titular hero’s movie, but does not help the main protagonist.  In this movie, Ant-Man is forced to fight the Avenger Falcon, as Falcon had detected Ant-Man’s intrusion into the New Avengers Facility in upstate New York, and started attacking him for trespassing almost immediately, despite having already heard Scott’s attempt to introduce himself as the hero Ant-Man.

Another thing that sets this Marvel movie apart is in the way the movie is advertised. Other than the theatrical release poster, there are new ‘Ant-Man’ Avengers-themed character posters, despite the storyline having no direct link to the Avengers themselves, other than the casual mentions of them by Scott Lang in the movie. There are also English posters of Ant-man stepping all over his friends, and international ones depict his daughter Cassie Lang looking

down in his ant-sized self.

This movie is a cut above the rest (at least in the Marvel Cinematic Universe), so do watch Ant-Man on the big screens!

Germaine Lee (2T)

Jokes and Pickup Lines

It has been four weeks since the June holidays! You might be feeling exhausted already but keep going! Here are some jokes to brighten up your day and hopefully it would make you feel better!

  1. Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a helium balloon?

A: Because she will Let it go.

Not funny enough? Do not worry, that was just the beginning, see below for more!

  1. Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: It was framed.

  1. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?

A: A bulldozer!

  1. Q: What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

A: If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need

oink-ment.

  1. Q: Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

A: They do not meet the koalafications.

  1. Q: What do you call bears with no ears?

A: B

  1. Child: *With report card in hand*

Mother: So what is your final grade?

Child: Underwater

Mother: What does that mean?

Child: Below C LEVEL

  1. When are the steps rude?

When they stair at you!

  1. Two people arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then took sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, an angry member of the public in the pub approached them and said, ‘Excuse me, you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!’ The two people looked at each other, shrugged and exchanged sandwiches.
  1. A man had two goldfish, he named one of them “One” and the other “Two”.

He did this because if one died, he would still have two!

  1. Technical Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”

Customer: “Ok.”

Technical Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Technical Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu now?”

Customer: “No.”

Technical Support: “Ok, sir, can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”

Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’, therefore, I wrote ‘click’.”

Sources:

http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/cleanjokes.html

http://thoughtcatalog.com/brandon-gorrell/2015/03/50-short-clean-jokes-and-puns-that-will-get-a-laugh-every-time/

http://shortestjokes.blogspot.sg/2013/05/nice-decent-clean-jokes.html

Renee Ong (1L)

Movie Review: Assassination Classroom Live Action

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My rating: 9.5/10

IMDB rating: 7.5 /10

My summary: In the high school, where main protagonist Nagisa Shiota studies at, there exists class 3-E, which is the class for dropouts, delinquents and the like. When the headmaster of the high school introduces a new homeroom teacher to them, they find out that that homeroom teacher is an Octopus like, alien creature that recently destroyed the moon. Since they are dropouts, it is decided that the class will be trained in assassination and are tasked to assassinate their homeroom teacher that claims to destroy Earth by the end of the year (he is extremely hard to kill due to extreme speed).

My opinions: Assassination Classroom ( a.k.a  Ansatsu Kyoujitsu) is a recent movie that is adapted from Anime, which is a type of Japanese Animation Show. But watching the original series is not necessary if you want to watch the movie, as it is merely a live adaptation.

I feel that the characters are extremely well developed and have fitting personalities that match their description. The movie slightly differs from the original show, but I think it is very well paced and fun to watch, as the plot is not too rushed and there are many funny and cute scenes. Although the viewers will have to read subtitles, because the movie is voiced in Japanese. Even though the plot may sound a little cheesy at first, it is in reality pretty cool.

Main protagonist Nagisa is an extremely lovable character. And along with other main characters, mainly Karma and Koro-sensei (alien that destroyed the moon),they form a hard to break bond. As the movie progresses, I fell in love with the characters even more and new characters are introduced at a good pace, coming along with a good hint of comedy.

In conclusion, if anyone has free time, and loves a good and interesting movie and does not mind subtitles, it is a definite must watch.

Stephanie Guan (2P)

Headlines: Whitney Houston’s daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown dies at 22

Bobbi Kristina Brown, daughter of late singer Whitney Houston, has died at age 22 on Sunday, July 26. She died surrounded by her family and is now in the loving arms of god.

Bobbi was discovered face down and unresponsive in a bathtub on 31 January and placed in a medically induced coma. She never regained consciousness. She was then moved to a hospice in the city of Duluth, Georgia, a month ago after her condition deteriorated.

Bobbi was the only daughter of Whitney Houston and R&B singer Bobby Brown. Whitney Houston was found dead in a hotel bath in Los Angeles in 2012.

The day before she was found in the bathtub, Brown had tweeted: “Let’s start this career up&&moving OUT to TO YOU ALLLL quick shall we !?!???!”

I felt that it must have been very hard for the family members to say goodbye to Bobbi but thankfully, she died peacefully. She will be missed for sure.

Quote from Bobbi Kristina-The wind is behind me and the sun is in my face.

Tan Ming Ting (1L)

SEA Games: Team Singapore breaks records in best performance yet

This year, Singapore held the 28th sea games. Many Singapore athletes were proud and elated to be playing on home ground and having a home crowd cheering for them.

The games ended on June 16, with Singapore clinching 84 gold, 73 silver and 102 bronze medals, and have also broken 25 Games records, 29 national records and 74 personal records making this SEA games a historical one. Even though Team Singapore did not managed to top the medal tally but their record-breaking medal haul of 84 gold was “impressive” and “historic”, the Singapore National Olympic Council announced.

Singapore ranked second among the Southeast Asian Nation, behind Thailand. The 259-medal haul also surpassed Singapore’s record of 164 medals (50 Gold, 40 Silver and 74 Bronze) when the Games was hosted in Singapore in 1993. Swimming contributed the most to the medal haul with 42 medals. Singapore Swimmer Joseph Schooling won a gold medal in every event he participated in and broke nine Games records in the process. Singaporean athlete’s hard work paid off and resulted in 25 Games records, 29 national records and 74 personal bests being broken.

Team Singapore did a fantastic job in making this SEA games a fantastic and memorable one and have inspired the entire nation repeatedly over the past 18 days, what a great way to mark Singapore’s jubilee. Singapore looks forward to many more surprises from our athletes in the future.

Tan Ming Ting (1L)

Chicken Fajitas

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Have you ever had – or even heard of – chicken fajitas? I hope you have!

Chicken fajitas are marinated chicken breasts, seared onions, and bell peppers stuffed inside  generous flour tortillas. Originating from Mexico, chicken fajitas are a widely popular treat, with their bursts of colour and flavour. They have become a huge favourite with Americans, who have adapted the Mexican recipe to include other fillings such as shaved cheese, baby spinach, romaine lettuce, cherry tomatoes, guacamole, and many others.

Personally, I love chicken fajitas. Not only are they quick and easy to make, they are great-tasting too. The dish includes delicious seared chicken they will make you hungry for more, and also your daily dose of healthy greens. You can also add your favourite fillings – a favourite of mine are small raisins that add some sweetness to the already delectable chicken fajitas – and personalise your own creation. Although they have not gained much attention in Singapore yet, they are still available at Mexican restaurants, or you could preferably make them at home.

If you have not tried chicken fajitas yet, why not consider making your own?

Chua Wei Ting (1T)