Laugh away!

1. You wanna hear a dirty joke?

A boy fell in a mud puddle.

You wanna hear a clean joke?

He took a bath.

2. A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”

3. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?

It gets toad away.

4. Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?”

Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”

5. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. “It tells me that someone has stolen our tent.”

6. 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs.

7. What kind of sushi does Lady Gaga eat? Raw, raw, raw, raw, rawwww!

8. Q: What do you call an deep sea Transformer?

A: Octopus Prime!

9. I asked my three year old grandson Malachi what his name was, he replied, “Spiderman.” I said, “Malachi, what is your real name?” He replied, “Peter Parker.”

10. Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she will Let It Go.

Rachel Pang (3H)

Jokes and Riddles

I’m sure we’re all aware that school has started, yet again *sighs* so here are some jokes to cheer y’all up!!

  1. Why did Mickey go to outer space?

BEECAUSE HE WANTED TO FIND PLUTO!

  1. Blue lives in the Blue House, Mr. Pink lives in the Pink House, and Mr. Brown lives in the Brown House. Who lives in the White House?

The president!

  1. What kind of bear has no teeth?

A gummy bear.

  1. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?

Because she thought it was a high school.

  1. Whatever you do, always give 100%……unless you’re donating blood
  1. What comes up when rain comes down?

An umbrella

  1. What is blue and smells like yellow paint?

Blue paint

  1. Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he neverlands.

  1. Roses are red.

Your blood is too.

You look like a monkey

And belong in a zoo.

Do not worry,

I’ll be there too.

Not in the cage,

But laughing at you.

  1. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Ach.

Ach who?

Bless you! Need a tissue?

Germaine Ong (1L)

Opinions on Society: #StopYulin2016

It is believed that at least 10 million dogs are slaughtered every year for human consumption in China. I shudder at the mere thought of this horrifying spectacle.

True to the title of an article published on 30 June 2015 about this, “Doggone it, they’re family, not food”, our fellow canines deserve to be treated humanely. They too, like us, have a heart and feelings of their own. Surely they can feel it when we shower them abundantly with love and bask in merriment. Likewise, when you turn a cold shoulder on them and treat them as invisible thin air, their confusion and loneliness causes them to whimper in distress.

It breaks my heart that our fellow companion – man’s best friend – was slaughtered on a large scale for a dog-meat festival. I know this festival is a tradition of the Yulin locals, and that eating dog meat in various ways is part of their culture. To them, dog meat brings good luck, improves circulation and fights colds. However, I disagree that just because it is their culture and their belief, a total of 10,000 dogs have to suffer and be slaughtered.

It is just inhumane for these innocent canines to be slaughtered because of the Yulin locals’ culture. I respect their tradition, but I feel that in this 21st century, some traditions need to go – and this is one of them. These treasured companions of ours had their whole lives ahead of them that could be well spent having a blissful life under the tender care of a loving owner if they had not ended up at the slaughterhouses. It may be their tradition, but surely, some traditions should go – and I feel that this is one of them.

It tears my heart to know that our fellow companion – man’s best friend – is being treated this way. Dogs love their masters unconditionally. While our love for them may not be as selfless and unconditional as theirs, we should care for them sincerely, from the moment we adopt them till their death. You may feed your dog only three times a day but he faithfully watches over you every single moment. Other than giving a dog a loving home where he can spend the rest of his life in, the least we can do for these canines is to support #StopYulin2016. Hopefully, with a larger number of supporters this early in time, the canine carnage can be stopped and thousands of dogs can be saved from this cruelty.

Chloe Kho (1P)

Jokes and Pickup lines

  1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
    The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
  2. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day. But I couldn’t find any.
  3. My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
  4. I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
  5. Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
  6. A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myshelf to blame.
  7. Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
  8. I changed my password to “incorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say “Your password is incorrect”.
  9. What travels around the world but stays in one corner? A stamp.
  10. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
  11. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
  12. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
  13. They say you are what you eat, so stay away from the nuts
  14. What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
  15. I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.

Nicolette (2U)

Book Review: The Hunger Games-Catching fire

It has been about six months since Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark won the Hunger Games, an annual event in which every district in Panem sends one female and male tribute to fight to the death in a televised competition for food and money. Despite the fact that only one tribute can win, a change in the rules allowed both Peeta and Katniss to both win. Their victory was due to Peeta’s declaration of love for Katniss before the Games. After the games, she returned home, only to find that President Snow, the leader of Panem, is waiting to speak with her. He tells Katniss that she needs to convince both him and Panem while on the Tour that she is in love with Peeta or the Capitol will go after her. Snow is angry because he feels that Katniss’ stunt with the berries was too rebellious leading some people to believe she was in love with Peeta, while others think it was an act of defiance. Some of Panem’s districts are now on the edge of rebellion. If Katniss can convince everyone she is in love with Peeta, President Snow will spare her family’s lives.

I like this book because it is thrilling and there is an unexpected plot twist in the story. Katniss thought that after winning the Hunger Games, she would never ever be involved in the games again. But in the end, she ended up being caught in President Snow’s malicious plan again. Quarter Quell requires one female tribute and one male tribute to be reaped from the existing pool of victors. President Snow knows that Katniss is the only female victor from District 12 and will definitely be reaped. President Snow decided to hold the Quarter Quell but this time, making sure that the rules will not change and only one victor will be crowned.

Catching Fire is a smooth exciting story tinged with a little bit of a tension. Readers are always in suspense as to what will happen next. I found myself anxiously turning the pages and holding my breath at some parts of the story where Katniss was on the brink of death. Surprises are at every turn. These are what make the story even more interesting, entertaining and definitely addicting. It is well, worth a few hours of your time.

Ming Ting (1L)

Headlines: US Supreme Court Legalises same-sex marriage in 50 states

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Even the White House lit up in rainbow colours on Friday, June 26th, in celebration of the US’s Supreme Court ruling to legalise same-sex marriage. This momentous decision allowed same-sex couples to marry nationwide, a historic victory for gay rights activists not just in the US but all over the world.

Nearly 46 years ago, the modern gay rights movement was established, after a riot at New York’s Stonewall Inn. Now, 46 years later, Justice Anthony Kennedy announced the ruling, through his opinions on fundamental values of love and equality. “No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice and family,” he wrote. “In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than they once were”.

So far, the response from the American people has been overwhelming. In Washington DC, hundreds gathered outside the Supreme Court on Friday, waving the US flag and their own rainbow coloured flags, chanting: “USA!” On social media, people all around the world showed their support for the Supreme Court’s ruling. For example, Facebook offered users a rainbow filter on their profile pictures, causing more than 26 million people worldwide to use it, showing their support. Twitter also added rainbow-coloured emojis to the hashtags #Pride (rainbow flag) and #LoveWins (rainbow heart).

Earlier this year, in Dublin, Ireland, voters chose to change their constitution in favour of same-sex marriage as well. The official results were announced May 23rd, where over a million people voted in favour of same-sex marriage legalisation, while 700000 voted against it. Ireland became the first country in the world to legalise same-sex marriage through popular vote.

Now, all eyes are on Australia, as a cross-party bill on marriage equality is reportedly coming before Federal Parliament on August 18. However Prime Minister Tony Abbott has so far been opposing same-sex marriage in Australia, saying that “the government’s got plenty of troubles without this one coming along”.

For the rest of the world, it still remains to be seen if same-sex marriages will be legalised.

References

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/05/23/europe/ireland-referendum-same-sex-marriage/index.html

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/06/26/politics/supreme-court-same-sex-marriage-ruling/

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/06/26/politics/supreme-court-same-sex-marriage-ruling/

Wen Shuen (3S)

Book Review: Girl, Missing by Sophie Mckenzie

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“Who am I?

  I put my head in my hands.

  How can anyone work out who they are, unless they know where they come from?

  And I have no idea where I come from.”

When tasked to write an essay about herself, Lauren does not know what to write about, she does not know where she truly came from and did not know who she was. All along she knew she was adopted and has always wanted to know the truth to her burning questions. Who is her biological parent? Why was she adopted and who was responsible for her kidnap? She runs away, in search of the answers to her questions, hoping to find her biological parents, the truth about her life and desperately finding herself. However, the more she finds out, the more danger she puts herself and the people around her in. It was never an easy task to find out the truth about your past when no one is willing to tell you anything about it. She must find the answers herself while the ones responsible for her kidnap are willing to stop her at any cost.

This award-winning, thrilling, action-packed novel by the one and only Sophie Mckenzie is filled with complications but they all emphasise on the same point at the end of the day: identity. Knowing who you are and that no matter what happens, knowing and being aware of yourself is the key to everything. On this journey with Lauren, you will find yourself unable to put this fast-paced book down. As you journey with Lauren, you will find that courage, love and knowing yourself are part of the complicating puzzle of life which one cannot lose. Revolving around the question that constantly rings in your ears – who am I – this book is worth the read and would leave a deep impression in your mind after reading it.

This book has constantly reminded me to portray courage and love – having the courage to face all odds and persevering on until you get the answer that you want, treasuring the people around you and finding yourself. We all have times of trouble when we forget who we really are and we lose ourselves. When we remind ourselves what makes us who we truly are, we would be able to accomplish anything.

Sister, Missing, the sequel to Girl, Missing, complements the first book so well that you would want to “devour” the third book to this thrilling series, Missing Me, once you have started on it. All these novels carefully crafted by the talented author Sophie Mckenzie who manages to create tension and suspense throughout the book and never fails to get you hooked onto any book once you start reading it!

Renee Ong (1J)

Maddie Ziegler

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Maddie Ziegler is an American child dancer, actress, and model. She is known for starring in Dance Moms, and has appeared in numerous successful music videos, such as “Chandelier” by Sia Furler and “It’s a girl party” by her little sister, Mackenzie Ziegler. She has been an active member of the Abby Lee Dance Company since the age of two. She trains in tap, ballet, lyrical, contemporary, acro, jazz, and aerial dance. She has earned herself many titles at regional, state, and national levels in the dance world. Because of her flawless dance moves, she is given many opportunities. She was starred in Sia’s Chandelier video which received nominations at the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards for Video of the Year and Best Choreography, winning the latter. The video was also nominated for Grammy Award for Best Music Video at the 57th Annual Grammy Awards. Ziegler has modeled for various fashion lines such as Glitzy Girl, Sally Miller, and Purple Pixies.  Maddie Ziegler has also appeared in numerous magazine spreads including Kode and Elle. She takes up challenges and embraces herself to meet them. She is daring, bold and hardworking. Whenever she meets failure, she perseveres till the end and constantly work hard to improve her dance skills. As she has gained many awards and because of her positive mindset towards dance lessons, she is the apple of her dance instructor’s  eyes.

She has a heart of gold. In 2012, Ziegler, along with her mother and sister, partnered with Starlight Children’s Foundation to help raise awareness for chronically ill youth. Ziegler stated that she enjoys dedicating her time to helping other children, and that it is a rewarding experience.

Sarah (1P)

Food review: Teppanyaki

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Do you like seeing your food being cooked? Ensuring that the chef does not add extra ingredients to your food or spike your food (which will rarely happen, of course)? Do you like seeing how your food is being cooked, right in front of you? If yes, then teppanyaki is the best for you!

Teppanyaki is a style of Japanese cuisine that uses an iron griddle to cook food. The word teppanyaki is derived from teppan, which means iron plate, and yaki, which means grilled, broiled, or pan-fried. In Japan, teppanyaki refers to dishes cooked using an iron plate, including steak, shrimp, okonomiyaki, yakisoba, and monjayaki.

Modern teppanyaki grills are typically propane-heated flat surface grills and are widely used to cook food in front of guests at restaurants. Teppanyaki grills are commonly confused with the hibachi barbecue grill, which has a charcoal or gas flame and is made with an open grate design. With a solid griddle type cook surface, the teppanyaki is more suitable for smaller ingredients, such as rice, egg, and finely chopped vegetables.

“Our chatter was matched by the sizzling & clattering of the chef’s acoustic performance on the hot plate. bit by bit, item by item, the chef organized the hot plate strategically to accomodate different cooking times taken for the respective orders. it didnt take long before the dishes were served piping hot before us, while we dug in like true blue meatarians.” A review of a user of hungrygowhere.com commented.

The prices might be costly for some meals and restaurants but it’s definitely worth a try and it will surely make you crave for more.

One of the recommended restaurants in Singapore is Hill Top Japanese Restaurant at Jurong Bird Park, 2 Jurong Hill. It’s definitely worth spending your precious pocket money for and I’m sure your mouth will water at the sight of the delicious food being prepared in front of your very eyes.

Chevonne Law (3J)

Jokes

School is back and I’m sure all of us are reminiscing the good times we had over the holidays as the old routine comes back! So here’s some jokes to make school a bit better! Enjoy!

Q: What animal should you never play cards with?

A: A cheetah!

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?

A: Because you can see right through them

Q: What dog can jump higher than a building?
A: Anydog, buildings can’t jump!

Q:  What has four legs but can’t walk?
A:   A chair!!!!!!!!!!!

Q: Why did the boy take a pencil to bed?

A: to draw the curtains!

Q: What did the math book say to the other math book?

A: Boy do I have problems.

Q: Where does a rabbit learn how to fly?

A: in the hare force.

Rachael Fong  (1L)