1. You wanna hear a dirty joke?
A boy fell in a mud puddle.
You wanna hear a clean joke?
He took a bath.
2. A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
3. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
4. Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?”
Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”
5. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?” Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. “It tells me that someone has stolen our tent.”
6. 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs.
7. What kind of sushi does Lady Gaga eat? Raw, raw, raw, raw, rawwww!
8. Q: What do you call an deep sea Transformer?
A: Octopus Prime!
9. I asked my three year old grandson Malachi what his name was, he replied, “Spiderman.” I said, “Malachi, what is your real name?” He replied, “Peter Parker.”
10. Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she will Let It Go.
Rachel Pang (3H)