Jokes/Pick-up lines

There was a typo on a test I was taking. Instead of “(D) none of the above,” it said “(D) one of the above.” So I circled it.

There is something wrong with our education system. A moral education teacher called her colleague the other day, “Wish you well in the future. I’m moving over to another school. Over there, the salary is $600 more than what we get now and I heard that there are more bonuses too!”

A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?” “Do you have any proof he owes you the money?” asked the lawyer. “Nope,” replied the man. “OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you,” said the lawyer. “But it’s only $500,” replied the man. “Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!”

So a man dies, goes to Heaven, and sees St. Peter. There are many clocks surrounding him so the man asks, “What are these clocks for?” St. Peter replies, “These are lie clocks, they tick once for every lie you tell. Here we have Mother Teresa’s clock. She has never lied so the clock has not moved. Honest Abe has only lied twice in his life, so it has only ticked twice.” The man then asks, “So where is George Bush’s clock?” St. Peter replies, “Oh that is in Jesus’ office, he is using it as a ceiling fan!”

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé

Sources: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bjx97/what_did_jayz_call_his_girlfriend_before_getting/

http://www.rdasia.com/good-choice

http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/joke-of-the-day

-Tan Ming Ting (1L)

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