Jokes and Pick-Up Lines

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

 

Know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u.

 

Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that…your number’s not in it.

 

Are you trash? Because I wanna take you out.

 

Q: What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?

A: It gets toad away.

 

Q: What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in one thousand years?

A: The letter M

 

Q: What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?

A: Silence.

 

Q: A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Who will get the banana first, the monkey, the squirrel, or the bird?

A: None of them, because you can’t get a banana from a coconut tree!

 

Q: What has 13 hearts, but no other organs?

A: A deck of playing cards.

 

Q: How many seconds are there in one year?

A: 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

 

The Smith family is a very wealthy family that lives in a big, circular home. One morning, Mr. Smith woke up and saw a strawberry jam stain on his new carpet. He figured out that everyone who was there that morning had a jam sandwich. By reading the following excuses, figure out who spilled the jam.

Billy Smith: “I was outside playing basketball.”

The Maid: “I was dusting the corners of the house.”

Chef: “I was starting to make lunch for later.”

Who is lying?

A: It was the maid. The house is circular, it has no corners.

 

  1. What is something you will never see again?
  2. Yesterday

 

Q: Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

A: She stole his heart.

 

http://www.rd.com/jokes/funny/riddles/

http://www.gotlines.com/lines/funny.php

http://www.funology.com/riddles/

-Wong Jing Rung (1 Diligence)

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