Jokes to Brighten your Day!

Hey, we all know it has been a long and tiring day at school or work. But it’s normal! Life is such that there are exhaustion and obstacles sometimes, but with some laughs, we will definitely get through it! Here are some jokes to brighten your day, enjoy! 
Wife: “How would you describe me?”
Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”
Wife: “What does that mean?”
Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”
Husband: “I’m just kidding!”

A three-year old walks over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in a doctor’s surgery.
“Why is your stomach so big?” – he asks.
“I´m having a baby.” – she replies.
“Is the baby in your stomach?” – he asks, with his big eyes.
“Yes, it is.” – she says.
“Is it a good baby?” – he asks, with a puzzled look.
“Oh, yes. A really good baby.” – the lady replies.
Shocked and surprised, he asks: “Then why did you eat him?”

A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!”
The doctor replied, “Show me.”
So the woman poked her ankle and screamed of pain. Then she poked her knee and yelled OW. She poked her forehead and screamed again.
She was about to continue when the doctor said, “That’s enough, let me think this over.” He thought for about a minute and said “I think I know what your problem is. You broke your finger.”

Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?

Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.

Teacher: What is the difference between lightning and electricity?
Alexander: I know – you do not have to pay for lightning.

Teacher: “Johnny, why are you late?”
Johnny: “Sir, because of a sign.”
Teacher: “What sign?”
Johnny: “A sign that said ‘Go Slowly, School Ahead’.”

I went out to buy camouflage trousers but I couldn’t find any!

Why is the sky so high? – So birds don’t bump their heads!!

Teacher: Suppose you have 10 chocolates. You give 3 to Tina, 2 to Mina and 3 to Sema. What do you have now?
Boy: I would have 3 girlfriends.

Master: “Why didn’t you water the plants yesterday?”
Servant: “It was raining.”
Master: “Don’t make excuses! You could have used an umbrella!!”
With reference to:
http://academictips.org/funny-jokes/really-funny-jokes/
http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes

-Daphne Yow(3T)

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