Jokes

Jokes/Pickup Lines

1. Q: What do you call a pig thief?
A: A hamburglar.

2. Q: What did the frog order at McDonald’s?
A: French flies and a diet Croak.

3. Q: What are the best days of the week in Fast Food Land?
A: Fry-day and Sundae!

4. Q: Why do seagulls live near the sea?
A: Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels.

5. Q: Why are birthdays good for you?
A: Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!

6. Q: Why is the number six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate nine!

7. Q: Which is the most curious letter?
A: Y?

8. Q: “What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?”
A: “You can’t tuna fish.”

9. Q: What do you call a computer floating in the ocean?
A: A Dell Rolling in the Deep.

10. Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
A: The teacher says “spit your gum out” and the train says “chew chew chew”.

11. It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she said. ‘Just give me something with diamonds.’ That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.

12. Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. “My friend is dead! What should I do?” The operator replies “Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he’s dead.” There’s a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, “Ok, now what?”

Sources:
http://www.jokes4us.com
http://www.rd.com/jokes/funny/riddles/
http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-57619881-71/science-declares-this-is-the-funniest-joke-in-the-world/

By: Soh Wen Shuen, 2W

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